My practical ways of dealing with confusion are as follows.
- I breathe in and out when the confusion is intense. I was taught how to breathe in and out in my nursery school, it was just one of those things that our class teach taught us during little physical exercises. I heard one woman talking about how she controls the hot temper of her little son, she said when the temper is very high, she calls his name, like she wants to praise him and tells him breathe in, the little boy does that, and she says out, and he does that too, they both do this repeatedly until the boy finally calms down before she starts teaching him the dangers of hot temper. She discovered it worked well over time. (Another lesson here is catch them young). I thought within myself, that this can also be helpful, that moment when you don’t know what to do, when everything seems muddled up. So, I started practicing it when I’m in any situation like that. It’s a magic that I cannot really explain how it works but it does. It has a way of calming my nerves.
- I try to separate me from the situation at that moment. The mind is a battle field, to me, who is in charge is key, my ability to take charge is very important to me, because it can make me take good actions or bad actions depending on whether I’m charge or not. So, how do I separate me from the situation, it’s like I am driving a car, I am heading to a particular direction but I decide to turn somewhere else. I turn gradually to avoid an accident and because I haven’t lost control of the car, I’m able to divert successful, don’t forget that my nerves are calmer now because of my nursery school exercise. So I drive my thoughts out of the situation to a situation I would have preferred if I had a choice .I know someone will say, this person is not serious o, if you like drive to kafanchan from Lagos, whatever problem you are driving away from is waiting for you. Don’t worry I’m fully aware, in fact I know that better than you do, we will come to that.
- Do things that I like naturally: I love music, comedy, lovely pictures, movies, oh my God, I know I love play, I was beaten as a child because it was at the extreme, now these things make me get myself together and they are now great tools for me to be well all round. When I’m locked in these activities, I think well because I’m relaxed and solutions start coming naturally. Now it is time for me to go back to where I drove from, because whatever caused the confusion must be addressed.
- I start searching for the solution: I can think better now, I start asking questions, does this problem have a solution, how do I go about it, this is when my prayer also becomes meaningful because I’m not just talking anyhow, the communication is clear, where my faith is worked on to believe and trust that there is a solution, where I discover that some of the issues that got me confused are not that bad, or that they are actually no issues at all (I laugh at this point). I’m feeling better now, since I can even think straight now, it is my number one solution.
- I can now talk to someone: I know people I talk to that I know will hold my hand to cross the road even when I can’t see, but I needed to calm down first to be able to explain my situation, someone may say, you are lucky to have those people, it is my choice, these people are special, they are not deceivers, it is even their natural gift and calling, they will tell you the truth and the truth alone, they won’t tell you what you want to hear, they will tell you what you should hear. I also have special inspiration programs I listen to on radio, on TV, I read from some books and magazines, they are of immense help to me.
- Finally my solution comes: Now you will wonder, is it that easy, na wa oo, yes it is, I have noticed that wallowing in the confusion day and night is a bigger problem that the situation causing the confusion. Looking for the solution is the first solution. Now to be practical, it is normal for problems to come every now and again, even a baby that is born today searching for his mother to suck the breast is a major problem for the baby, let alone, you and I that have spent some years in this life. The first solution is to take charge of the situation and then follow the steps that will take away the problem completely by taking appropriate actions.
Now I must say here, that people that indulge in drugs, smoking, drinking, womanizing and in any action that is morally unacceptable in a bid to running away from problems are complicating the issues because these habits can pose a bigger problem on their own. This is because, their health, emotions, freedom, to mention but a few is being tampered with. In my opinion, this is no solution, rather trouble.
Image: mcgill
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